Authenticity is Worth Its Weight in Gold

I didn’t watch the olympics but I’ve become obsessed with post-games coverage of the women who stole the show: Chinese-American Alysa Liu who won gold for the United States in Women’s Figure Skating and Chinese-American Eileen Gu who won gold for China in Women’s Freestyle Skiing.

Their stories shine a light on the intersection of authenticity and privilege.

First, there was Liu.
Liu retired from skating at 16 because she wasn’t having any fun fitting into the ideals of perfection that dominated women’s figure skating for, roughly, forever. She came out of retirement at age 18 to skate on her own terms. At age 20 with brilliantly unorthodox hair, tattoos, and piercings she unleashed unadulterated unmitigated unregulated joy.
She took the gold for herself and gave permission to everyone watching.

And then there was Gu.
Gu has been at the top of her game since she started playing games.
In these games, however, much to the criticism of USians who demand their women be patriotic and obedient and grateful for whatever USians deem women worthy of, and for reasons as readily accessible as the quantum physics she studies, Gu skied for China.
Quietly, expertly damning the demand to justify herself, Gu just wins.
On the slopes, behind a camera, in front of reporters.
She literally laughed in absurdity’s face.
And then went on to win even more.

Authenticity takes the gold.

What is the going rate of authenticity these days, anyway?

Stack the Deck teaches audiences to optimize for their own energy rather than money. It reframes wealth as “the abundance of energy that you can use to create,” not your bank balance. One of the three key ways I teach people how to optimize their energy is by spending it on their own authenticity.

Liu and Gu are prime examples of this in action.
Enter the critics.
Sure… BUT… both of these women already had some pretty deep pockets supporting them. It’s easy to be “authentic” when you already have a health bank account.
The criticism was already rolling around in my head when I saw a LinkedIn post that I loved.

Here it is, restated here, in its entirety:

Getting to be “authentic” is a privilege.

Those that brag about how authentic they are often aren’t aware that there’s an inherent level of privilege to being both 1) Openly yourself and 2) Still alive.

Don’t believe me? Talk to trans women of the global majority.

And if the threat isn’t physical, it’s financial. How many Palestinians get to both be fully themselves in the corporate world while keeping their jobs?

Never let anyone shame you for doing what you need to do to protect yourself. You don’t owe anyone access to your authenticity.

Let them earn it.

The post is excellent.
The comments are as good, especially the one that notes: “authenticity requires a ‘baseline of safety.’”

The initial post made me look very closely at Stack the Deck–is it too steeped in privilege?
The comment made me double-down on why Stack the Deck is so important now, not just for creating better lives for ourselves, but in deconstructing systems that give rise to privilege in the first place

Here's where I land:
Authenticity is not a privilege.
Authenticity is the rejection of privilege.
As uncomfortable as it may be–and it will be uncomfortable–privileged folks need to get on board with some actual authenticity.

What is privilege, who has it, and why?

Privilege comes from the latin root “Privus” meaning private and “leg” or “lex” meaning law. Essentially, it means “private law.”
A law that applies to some and not others.

I’m a fan of this definition: “Privilege is unearned access or advantages granted to specific groups of people because of their membership in a social group.” “Unearned” is the selling point for me.

For those who experience privilege, that unearned access and advantage creates a baseline of safety that post commentor Rene Huey-Lipton referenced.
A baseline of safety stemming from privilege is not, however, a baseline of safety from which most people can behave authentically.

Why?
A baseline of safety based on privilege is unearned.
Anything that is unearned can be taken away as easily as it was given.
Often, if not always, the baseline of safety stemming from privileged is conditioned on conforming to behaviors that prop up the system that grant the privilege. Rather than giving one permission to be authentic, a baseline of safety stemming from privilege demands conformity.

Authenticity challenges the system that conferred the privilege.
Authenticity necessarily jeopardizes that baseline of safety.
Privilege and authenticity do not, cannot, co-exist.
In order to be fully authentic, you have to be willing to risk whatever baseline of safety your privilege affords.

Is Your Baseline of Safety from Privilege or Authenticity?

Baselines of safety are not always unearned and stemming from privilege.
Baselines of safety can be earned, stemming from authenticity.
The only way to find out is to test it.
Test it by living authentically.

Rarely does a baseline of safety come without strings attached.
The goal in living authentically is to continue to detach those strings until they are no more. It is probably a lifelong process. But, each time someone, somewhere, frees themselves from one of the strings that keeps systems of privilege intact, it cuts into the power of those systems of privilege hold over us.

So, ask yourself: Are you holding back on living authentically because it’s going to cost you safety? Relationships? Money?

If the answer is yes, your baseline of safety comes from privilege not authenticity.
Many criticisms of the “cult of authenticity” are properly directed at people who are perfectly comfortable living within this privilege, advice givers who confuse comfort for authenticity and invite others who don't share their privilege to pretend they do. (Next week, when I talk about relationships, I’ll explain how to tell the difference). Stack the Deck is not for them.

Stack the Deck is for the people who find themselves uncomfortable with the “baseline of safety” their privilege affords, but aren't sure what to do about it. This discomfort shows up as “I don’t have a choice” in your careers or a feeling of being trapped by your own success. Stack the Deck shows you how to rewrite the rules and strategically play your cards so that your baseline of success comes from authenticity and not privilege.

Authenticity really is worth its weight in gold.

Conforming to the standards demanded by systems of privilege always comes at the costs of our own authenticity.

Lui said no and refused to skate according to the terms of a system that wanted her to behave on its terms.
Gu said no and chose to ski for a different country.
Neither choice was safe.
Both women were willing to risk certain privileges; but that’s what authenticity requires.

Privilege demands that we obey the status quo.
Authenticity gives us–ourselves and others–permission to disrupt it.
Disrupting the status quo strips power from systems of privilege and brings it back to ourselves.
In the Olympics or otherwise, taking back our power, our authenticity, is always worth its weight in gold.